I am dedicating this post to my wonderful indigenous friends and, in particular, Steve. I feel privileged as a middle-aged, middle-class, white male who has only been in Australia for 10 years to have been a part of some wonderful moments of sharing and learning from indigenous people. I have heard the reality and the hardship as well as the profound love and respect for this land.

These days it seems that what a politician says on the campaign trail may not bear much resemblance to what will happen if they are actually elected into office. Kevin Rudd has restored my faith in politics an politicians. He is a man of principle and integrity who deserves to be applauded for his courage. He said that he would ratify the Kyoto Protocol (only the US and Australia had failed to do so); he did this almost as soon as he was elected Prime Minister.

In what was a bigger political decision for in terms of the nation he had agreed that the time was long overdue to say “sorry” to the indigenous people of this land for the abuses that they had and continue, in some places, to suffer. The footage from the ABC can be found here. I had a text message from Steve who was in Canberra to witness the moment first hand on the grounds of Parliament House. He was very proud and happy today and I reiterated my love for him and my commitment to standing with him as a friend.

Kevin Rudd is a Christian. I add this note almost as an afterthought because, in a world where “real” men are thin on the ground, he showed himself to be a man. Where others have given in to political considerations and image he stood tall and showed what a truly courageous politician can achieve. He was not afraid to let his predecessors, gathered in the gallery, know how they had failed abysmally to take up this heroic challenge. His faith no doubt influences and drives his political decisions but this is no convenience Christianity as it seemed to be sometimes for Tony Blair, for example.

I have been an Australia citizen for just over a year and it hasn’t really meant that much to me, to be honest. Today I was proud to call myself an Australian. Today I have seen an historical moment. Yes, there is still much work to do but let us all appreciate and applaud the commitment of those people who have worked hard to see this moment when a nation can accept the guilt of past wrongs and, honestly and sincerely, say “Sorry”.

The title doesn’t refer to a sudden craving for greasy, processed Chicken but to our Kids’ Church program – Kids For Christ. I agreed to be a leader and today was my first solo effort. I look after the Year 4-6 group and my oldest, Samuel, has just moved up to this group. Last week I did a joint session where another leader took two groups but today I dived in and the leader’s manuals hadn’t arrived so all of the resources that I had been promised were nowhere to be seen.

I was very proud of myself. In the past I might have become overwhelmed and panic-stricken but with my growing self-confidence I entered the room of 10 kids and we had a great time. I have been conscious, as I have with my own children, of wanting to help impart a living, dynamic relationship with God so after a game to kick off we looked at the story of Daniel’s mates when they were thrown into the fiery furnace. I shared some examples of wonderful answers to prayer that I have had the privilege to witness and I put the story into the context of a God who can do amazing things as opposed to simply another “story”.

Having read the passage and discussed it I invited them to share issues of concern that we could take to this awesome God. It was wonderful seeing the simple faith response. I am looking forward to catching up with them next Sunday to see how things have gone for them. I have 2 weeks off now as I share with another leader and I preaching anyhow on February 24th.

I stepped in because I love kids and my wife encouraged me to give it a go. In the past it would have been too much to cope with but I surprised myself at how I managed and, even more so I guess, at how God used me to make a positive impact into the lives of these kids. I am very thankful today for each one of these young people who have blessed me so much.

I’ve had a tough week. It is 2.45am on Sunday morning and I am up watching English Premier League football after having got a reasonably decent block of sleep. I wonder if other people have such erratic sleep patterns. (By the way I have selected Bolton v Portsmouth from a choice of 5 games). I am struggling with my job and I also came out of a spell where I had run out of medication. I am back into a pattern with the meds but it has been tough. I saw the psychologist yesterday which was very helpful.

I guess what bothers me is that in the midst of this I am trying to serve God in various ways; yesterday I helped organize a men’s breakfast down at the Lake. I am doing a reasonably good job with the boys and my wife is lovely. I get down sometimes thinking of my limitations. It is hard to see the positives when the negatives jump up demanding attention.

My wife and I spoke this week about the fact that I cannot cope with full-time work and that in itself is tough for a man to accept. We are working through it. She wants me to write one book at least and take some financial pressure off us so if anyone has any ideas about helping me towards this goal feel free to chip in. Sometimes life is just hard work. All we can do is keep our heads down and give it our best shot and keep holding on to Jesus’ hand as we move forwards.

I like to think that I used to take one step forwards and two steps back but now I take two steps forward and one step back so this is only a minor hurdle on my forward progress as a pilgrim of God.

After writing a post about encouragement my boss phoned me the next day when I was out on the road and the conversation closed with him saying “Go home and tell yourself  that you’re bloody good!” It worked! I did feel “bloody good”.

My boss and I have had our ups and downs but I can see that he is seeing the value of my sales skills and network building.

I was reminded of an old Petra song called “God Pleaser”. I am showing my age AND I have seen them live.

Hear are some of the lyrics:

“I just wanna do everything I do with all my heart unto the Lord
I just want my life to glorify His Son
To make my Father proud that I’m His child before I’m done
No need to pat me on the back or stop to shake my hand
I just want to hear my Father say, “well done”, “well done”

I want to be a person that doesn’t need a pat on the back or a shake of thehand but I find that I do need those things, I do want to be noticed and appreciated. I find myself conflicted because I know that to some extent we all need recognition but I want to die to my selfishness and live more for God and it’s SO hard.

I don’t know what the answers are and perhaps I’m just using this space to offload today so thanks for reading and sharing with me.

I speant last night in a motel in Muswellbrook (pronounced Muscle-Brook) which is about 3.5 hours north of Sydney. I didn’t post because the wireless internet was extremely slow and kept dropping out at an alarming rate. I barely got my emails checked before throwing in the towel.

I went to a breakfast meeting and then met the OHS (Occupational Health and Safety) manager of the Shire Council before driving back to Newcastlw (approx. 2 hours). The rain was incredible! Muswellbrook is in the heart of coal mining country so there are a lot of BIG trucks rumbling down the main road. Visibility was low as it was bit with the addition of the spray off the trucks it was very difficult to see anything. With the added problem of people driving with no headlights it was a bit tense to say the least.

What interested me as I reflected upon the journey was that I don’t hear people complaining about the rain any more. This is the result of living in a country where the problems of drought have seeped through even into the most urbanized, water-fed areas of Sydney. News of farmers committing suicide and animals slowly dying and pictures of lakes which are cracked and dry have brought home the blessing of water.

I arrived at the council offices having made a dash from my car to the foyer. I was greeted by the OHS manager. I said “It’s pouring down”. He answered, “Yes, it’s good isn’t it.”

What a fascinating exchange. Now, I am not a fan of allegorizing every situation and seeking illustrations throughout life but it did strike me that rain can be seen as a terribly negative thing or a most positive occurrence depending on one’s perspective. Because of my life’s journey I have had a tendency to view events negatively and squeeze negatives out of even the brightest circumstances.

As I look back on today I want to see the blessings in the rain. I want to see the life-giving water that falls down from the clouds and not focus on the puddles on the pavement and the muddy footprints in the house.

Life will still have its challenges but today I am so thankful for the rain.

  Sally at “Eternal Echoes” proposed a synchroblog to uncover positive stories of church life. What a great idea. There is so much criticism and grumbling associated with the church that it is refreshing to read so much positiveness emerging from among God’s people.

I am finishing off “Pentecostal Hermeneutics” as part of a Masters of Theology through Southern Cross College in Sydney. A common proposal that has emerged through the readings is that there is a 3-fold approach necessary to ensure good Biblical interpretation; Bible, Holy Spirit and community.

Without going into the details in this post I was reminded of the place of community in the process of Biblical interpretation. Each local church is the people of God who are filled with the Holy Spirit and together the church is able to work through a process of learning and growing together. In short, the church is empowered to work together to grow spiritually.

As I considered this I realized that the church is an empowered community. Last week I was preaching and I explained that “Warners Bay Baptist Church” (my fantastic church home) is a title to identify its location (Warners Bay), type of church (Baptist) and the fact that it is a church. In short, the name is simply a name. What is most important is that Warners Bay Baptist Church is the community of people who gather together each week. I encouraged the congregation to look out for and lift each other up.

The church has a responsibility to model love to the world (John 13:35). Last week we had 2 single friends staying over for the weekend and they both came with us to church. After I preached the pastor got up to lead Communion. Prior to communion he went though the prayer points for the week at which point he mentioned that his 67 year old father had passed away that week.

At the close of communion the church elder stood up before the final song to tell us that we had a responsibility to love and hold up each other and he asked the pastor and his family to come to the front of the church. Then he asked all who wanted to surround them physically and lay hands on them and pray for them. To see 60+ people gathered together reaching out, laying hands, holding each other was so moving. Two of the older men had lost a parent in the past 6 months and to hear these men praying through broken sobs was a powerful statement of love.

It is not just the pastor who is loved we work to cultivate love throughout the church body and to extend this to the world around us. When we got back home my friend’s commented that although they enjoyed much of the service the one thing that stood out for them was this huge outpouring of genuine love. We have at our disposal a community that can change this jaded, cynical world. Let us love with passion and see the world changed moment by moment.

In order to keep up-to-date with blogs that I like I use Google Reader. I didn’t want to clutter email boxes with blog updates on a daily basis and I certainly have too many emails to wade through. I am a Firefox fan so I can wholeheartedly commend the Firefox extension. If you insist on using Internet Explorer I am happy to offer free counseling but, in the meantime, here is the Windows link.

The Firefox extension sits unobtrusively at the bottom of my browser and when I have blogs to read it displays the number and when I click it takes me to a nice centralized blog reader page. Highly commended. Oh, and remember to make this your first blog of choice. I will be very encouraged.

I have been greatly encouarged lately. Today David McMahon of Authorblog sent me an email encouraging my blogging as well as offering constructive advice. I have also received encouragement from Sandra in Western Australia, Ana in Sweden, Frank in Canada and Sally in England.

As well as demonstrating a small example of the global reach of the internet it also spoke to me about the power of encouraging words. By the way, these are all people of integrity and passion. Please check their blogs and offer them encouragement.

As I reflected on my own journey through life I can testify to the damaging effect of harsh, unthinking words. The harm that can be done by a thoughtless slip of the tongue is quite incredible. I still have discussions in my head as a man soon to reach 40 fighting to counter words spoke in my pre-teen years.

I also realized how much we can lift up someone. Today, please think of someone you can encourage. Don’t just do it to make yourself feel better (although this is a positive spin-off), think of a positive quality and let them know. It could be your children, spouse, friend, boss, acquaintance. Everyone needs encouraging so it is not difficult to make a list.

One encouraging word a day could radically change the world we live in. Be encouraged!

Tonight for some reason I felt led to look up Who Am I? by Casting Crowns on YouTube and, once again I was moved, very moved even close to tears. That is a big statement for me. I can’t remember the last time I cried. Many adults have quite long gaps between outbreaks of tears but for me it is more a primal fear of what will happen if I let the emotions break free and so I nearly cried.

As I listened to the tune and the wonderful, heartfelt lyrics I was taken to a place where I know that God loves me so much and I need to not just know cognitively but know in my heart that God loves me with a passion.

The lyrics can be found here but I want to walk through some aspects that speak deeply to me.

I spend much of my life battling low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence. When a new online friend, Sandra, sent me an email affirming my writing I was so uplifted and encouraged. After a number of years of being called “hopeless”, “prick” and “wanker”, to name a few epithets, my spirit has been well and truly crushed. Since becoming a Christian I have seen my self-image slowly change but the inner voices still clamour for attention and often get their place at the podium.

” Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I? ”

He knows my name; he feels my hurt. But the best is yet to come.

The song recognises our limitations but contrasts them with how God truly sees us and loves us. So, yes, we are vapour in the wind but this is not a negative quality. It is a realistic assessment of our mortality but it throws us onto the mercy of God and HIS purposes for our lives.

” Still you hear me when I’m calling,
Lord, you catch me when I’m falling,
And you’ve told me who I am.
I am yours.”

We are vapours in the wind, waves tossed in the ocean; so much stuff in the vastness of life and yet he hears me when I’m calling and he catches me when I’m falling and then…and then…he whispers quietly above the tumult of life and he says “You are mine” and it is this that stops the merry-go-round of my life and brings the raw emotion flooding to the surface.

I do call and I do fall and then he hears me and catches me and holds me and tells me that I am His child and I know that I am loved and I am SO incredibly grateful.

It’s 12.50am on Monday night and I have had a pretty awful day. I am not after sympathy; I’m simply sharing and hoping to get some stuff off my mind so I can finally get some decent sleep. I wrote the piece about honoring your father and mother and realized tonight just how far I’ve got to go.

I preached yesterday and got a really good response. I’m a pretty good preacher (even if I say so myself), I know that God has a call on my life to full-time ministry at some point, I have great friends, fantastic children, a very supportive wife, a beautiful home and a job. So why do I feel so bad? Why do I feel like I have nothing? Why can’t I pray?

Depression is a strange illness that creeps in unawares and before you know it you’re trapped much like the frog in the boiling water. The trigger for me tonight was I wanted/needed someone to hug me. For want of a hug I felt all of my security going down the toilet. Of course I know it’s “All in the mind…” and if only I could step outside and look objectively at my situation and stop thinking of myself all of the time and fix my eyes on heaven etc. etc.

But right now I feel lousy and wanted someone to know even if it was just words on a blog. I know that my redeemer lives. Tonight we will huddle in bed and He will hold me and sometime soon I’ll realize that I am loved.